I wake up from my boring dreams, the one’s you so easy could have experienced in the awakening stage… I press the snooze button with my still asleep arm, but after 30 minutes of almost sleep, i drag this heavy fucking body to the mirror. Open my eyes and sigh at the reflection… Her again? i think to myself. Now, i cant help but wonder, why her? Why me? Why the fuck did i have to be the freak in some random girls body? …I mean, if you were to but me in the wrong fucking gender than at least give me some hotness! 
Anyways. I am a girl on the outside. I know… So i thought, why be more of a “freak” then i already am? SO, at school and usually in my free time, i like dressing up, feeling hot in my most female way…And that part of me is ME also. But I’ve got this time, this alone time with my inner/my other…My ISAK. yes. When i am alone, out shines this boy who should have been born, and obviously, he talks english. WHAT? how can that be? -Don’t ask me!
…You see, this girl side, she comes from sweden, Diza her name is. And she’s very shy and pisses on everyone close. Her lies are her best and only friend. Her alcohol problem and drug use is taking up her time and brain cells. She’s the girl you won’t let your daughter hang out with, cause she make her homo and drunk…..And fuck it. They’re right! Diza brings out the crazy in people, but usually she’s just misunderstood.
ISAK may be a boy, but a better one comparing to the ones i’ve met..except from when Isak steels stuff and constant craves for adrenalin. This guy gets the ladies, he’s confident, knows what and how to do things right. But he sees sex in every hot chick passing by. He gets too emotional when he think he got her under his arms. It’s a fucking shame this dudes a pussy for love… But otherwise!,like when it comes to sturring things up and keeping the party alive, he’s the yeah!.. He can get these thought in his head, like someone is daring him to do something. And u know boys..-fucking baaaad losers! So even thought no one dared him, he dares him self. Like this one time he jacked a purse from a old lady, he sniffed pepper up the nose, ran from the cops, went in a random house and stole all the liquor…? hahah, good times…good F*n times =)
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I am a dreamer.
I dream about how it will be if maybe i would go through with the surgery. If maybe I lived in L.A and worked in a random tattoo shop with the extra income as a bartender. I like to dream, talk out loud when only you are in the room. I like to continue on the endless question “What if?”
- In the next few days I’ll post a dream, a wish, a thought…
Remember. You can peel as many layers as you like, but the truth comes from the soul.